I'm a girl too!

Blah, is the first thing comes up to my mind whenever I see a guy, an attractive guy to be more exact, why can’t a girl like me can’t get a guy like him? What do other girls have that I don’t? I’m tired of this crap, crap that attractive people date attractive people. Why can’t girls, pretty and smart can’t get guys like him? I’m tired of this.I’m in the library studying just wondering the world of possibilities if I was with the guy of my dreams right now. Yes, I’m naïve to think this because fairy tales don’t exist, blah blah. I’m tired of that crap, that garbage, that society puts into us that we can’t happy endings. It’s not fair, girls like me, have the right to be happy. Why? We are human beings. Why can’t we be loved? Why can’t we be sway with words that sway us off our feet? Yes, I’m not the typical 5’7 skinny blonde girl who works out and its outgoing. but i got virtues and values, and i stay true to myself unlike others. I know, I might be hurting but it doesn't stop me from speaking the truth.  Why do I have to pull away when I see an attractive guy? Why can’t just be out there and flirt a bit, why do I have to be shy and just hide behind my attractive friends? I’m tired of this. I am this woman who I said to be but at the last quick minute I back down and become the nerdy girl who I am. I wish I had the power to be self-confident and go after what I want. I admire my parents marriage, they had shown to me what true love is and I want that. I know I'm still young and have many years to come to get it but why not now. 

God has a plan for everyone and I know I'm still waiting but aveces I just want to meet that one guy, and I know everything will fall into place. I have been selfish, mean, and even aggressive towards others, I know my mistakes, I know my past has been a horrible one but that doesn't mean that I don't deserve what others have. Each passing day I suffer, even if I don't want to admit it, carrying what I carry behind my back each living day is not what I recommend for anyone. I just thought after what I've been through I would have something in my life special to love me. I know I have my family, my friends and God but sometimes I just wish I had someone's smile in my mind each day to remind me that everything is going to be alright. I think positive, have faith but it seems like my time will never arrive... I'll just keep waiting that's the only thing I'm good at. One day....