Time for a change

Anger! Frustration! Guilt! Unhappy! I look down and what I see is a big belly hanging, not too long ago that belly didn’t exist maybe it did but it wasn’t so big. What happen? I asked myself, a question of no job and no exercise is what happen. Each day I look at myself in my mirror and this is all what I see. A big belly and big thighs. I just can’t believe I let the summer get the best of me, why? I guess I knew that I had no one to impress so I let myself go and didn’t worry about how I look like but this time I went too far. I must confess, I have gotten to a part that none of my jeans fit me anymore. I feel ashamed and angry at myself for letting my body get this big. I know, body image is not important but it’s important to feel good about oneself right? How can I like the way I look if none of my clothes fit me anymore. I feel disgusted about myself and I need to change.

I don’t want to go in life eating and eating without worrying about my health. I need to stop and think about it. I could prevent diseases. I must take action. I just can’t sit back and do nothing. This time I must keep going if I decide to change. I talk the talk but never walk the walk. I start by exercising but after a while I stop. I keep putting myself excuses to stop and that is just unacceptable.

I don’t know what else to do, sometimes I feel hopeless. I must keep myself motivated and stop myself from being a couch potato and do something. I sometimes I feel like I don’t have support from my family. I wish they could help me with this difficulty I’m having. And sometimes I feel like what’s the point if I don’t have support, but today I realize if I want to change I must do it myself even if I don’t get the support I need. I need to have self-control and be motivated to get to my goal. I need to change. I just need to. I don’t want to lie in a hospital bed when it’s too late.