I'm a strong, independent woman

Every time I break down, I tell myself that is GOD there for me and I do think he is here but sometimes that is not enough to cheer me up. I know I brag that I'm a new person but it seems that my old me is here within me and it's not going to leave any time soon. I keep telling myself that I'm strong and I won't let anyone or anything to bring me down. But sometimes words are only words and what counts is actions. I need to believe that I'm strong but hey I'm only a girl. That's too much to ask for a girl who is emotional damage since day 1. Damn it, why am always complaining while others have worst problems with me? Why am I self-centered? I don't like about myself, if I had one wish it would be a bit more outgoing and being able to help others without thinking about me. I know that's possible and it will I will accomplish that.