Why do I keep putting myself into these situations? Maybe I enjoy making reckless mistakes, or I like drama in my life or because I'm desperately seeking for a guy's attention. Whatever the reason it may be, I'm still acting like an immature person who cannot let herself to be respected. I am bothered that I let anyone walked into my life and take over my life. Javier is no exception, I allowed his decisions to be my decisions. I was so blind by his personality and good looks to influence me to follow his lead rather than making my own decisions.
This upcoming year, I've decided to start fresh and in order for me to that Javier cannot be in my life anymore. So, right before the new year begins I will un-friend on Facebook and erase anything related to him from my life. To be honest, it's going to hurt me more than him and I doubt he will even notice that I'm no longer there. In Javier's eyes, I was simply just another girl he could use and manipulate; and I doubt I'm not the only one. Just a click on un-friend and I will be good.
Nonetheless, before the chapter with Javier Garza is over, I want to share with you all how I met him and he became a weight on my shoulder. Please don't judge for that things I'm going to say; I was in a dark place in that time of my life.
This all started because of a social media site called Myspace. When I was in high school, Facebook hadn't yet emerged as a social media site like how it is today, Myspace was the popular social media site included features choosing a profile song (I would change mines every week, lol), making you think about your friends (top 4, top 8 and even top 10 friends) and personalized our page with various themes. It was truly amazing.
It was
the year 2009 and I was 19, a sophomore in college, only and desperate that I
was I turned to Myspace for comfort. One of the features of Myspace was the
ability to browse for people, so one afternoon, I decided to sit down in front
of my computer and so a complete search of guys around my area and that's how I
found Javier. That same afternoon I added him as friend knowing that there was
a change he was not going to accept. To my surprise hours later, he accepted my
request and from there we started to message each other every so often until we
exchanged numbers and talk almost everyday. We would talk for hours
without worrying about school the next day. Then the day arrived when we
decided it would be nice to meet each other. On June 28 that same year we
met at the South Gate movie theater, Edwards Theater by Garfield and
Firestone.
I was the first to arrive to the theater, my parents had
driven me, knowing that I was meeting up with a friend (which I was not). 45
minutes later and there was no sign of him and realized he wasn't going to show
up. So I asked if we could leave... but right before my dad turned on te car he
had shown up. I had gotten off the car and greeted him. Javier was tall, like
5'7, brown-white skin wearing a light blue Aeropostale shirt with black skinny
jeans. To be honest, I didn't find him attractive, I believe it was because he
still had his baby face. I recalled my parents wanted to meet him and I rolled
my eyes of the embarrassment
Our conversations were a bit quiet, however I do recall
the first compliment gave me, "You don't look 19, you look like 16."
I smiled. The movie we saw that night was Drag me to Hell. A sucky movie, I know but back
then I was a scary cat so I was frighten throughout the movie and I thought he
would hold me but he didn't. At the end of the night, we waited by the stairs
for our parents to pick us up, because neither of us could drive, while we
waited we looked at each other and smiled.
I was not so sure why I liked him so much, he wasn't much
of a talker. Who knows?
Javier Garza is finally over... Or is it?
#movingon #javiergarza #finally #2009 #2014
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