Just another night wasting my time rather doing productive actions. It has been a habit of mine for several years now and it seems getting worst by the minute. Not sure if it's because I love procrastination or I'm just lazy. Well this time is neither, for the past few days my thoughts have been controlling me and controlling my actions. A lot of uncertain things have been on my mind these couple of days. Things that have been troubling me such as school, friends and life after December. I have been quiet about how stressful I feel because I don't want things to end. As I try to remain calm about everything there is a bit of anxiety rushing down my veins. Not knowing what to do scares me because I thought by now I would have everything in place but in reality I'm not. I mean I know where I want to be but not sure how to get there. On the other hand, my love life, you may be wondering about Edgar* and Ricky* well happy to say that I'm not dating neither of them at the moment. With Edgar* he just completely disappeared and with Ricky* while I have been texting him for several weeks now and I want to say that something is growing there but I feel nothing towards him. I want things to work out with him because I found him so passionate and interesting I might fall for him hard but I don't understand why haven't I done so already? Is there something or someone preventing me to fall for him? I don't understand myself and my emotions. But this is least of my problems at least for right now...
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