Sunday, July 13, 2014

Cannot Go Back

This past weekend I went out to celebrate my friend's Stephanie's Birthday at Pasadena along with other friends. I told myself that I was not going to consume any drinks but somehow my friends convinced me. I know I should be pressure or anything I just didn't want to be the party popper so I gave in only one glass of wine. Throughout the night I thought to myself, I can't go back to the girl who I used to be, those days in the club and drinking, ever since the party of 2011 I promised myself I was not going to given in that type of social events. Since then I've been managing myself a bit controllable when it comes to those types of social events. However, as I endure myself into those social situations I think about when I was that girl, crazy and wild, and YOLO was her motto and think how life was so easy then. Those times were different because I didn't have to worry about anything and life was just wild and free but times have changed. I have graduated college and now I have into think seriously about starting a new chapter of my life. The episode of Friday night is one that I don't want to repeat again, well not anytime soon anyways. I must confess that I did enjoy myself in that setting again but I wish  I would have handled it differently. I decided to write this post not the sake of how I'm thinking but also thinking about the foolish girl who I used to be. Guys. I think I have a bit matured regarding to guys, ever since the thing with my guy friends I haven't been putting myself out there. I guess that is because I just don't want to get hurt right now. I want to focus on getting myself settle and nothing else should matter. I've been out of school for months and I haven't found anything. The whole situation dating will come on it's own. I don't want to go back to my old self, I want to prove myself that I have change...

Peace.

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